This is real, folks.

A song written and peformed by SAG President Alan Rosenberg.

Wow.  What can one say?

It’s actually a fascinating insight into his psychology and the psychology of many militants.  It goes like this.  You have to fight to get the best deal.  If you’re not willing to fight, you’re a stooge, a slave, someone who would happily work for free.  There is no middle ground.  Until the militant is satisfied, no one should be satisfied.

Isn’t that a pretty bit of narcissism?

Even worse, if you decide that the militant is simply wrong in his assessment of what is achievable, then you are the reason no one is going to get what the militant wants.

So let’s say the militant decides that everyone deserves a pony that farts gold dust.  If you say you’d be happy with less, you are a sell-out and an Uncle Tom and a slave-minded putz.  You’re also the reason no one’s going to get that gold-farting pony. If you say that sounds about right, then brace yourselves for a fight, because the evil companies want to deny you what’s rightfully yours!  One more week of striking, and we’ll get that pony!  ONE….MORE……WEEK………!!!!

You want to know how I define union moderates and militants?

Moderates are people who set their expectations according to a logical, cost-benefit analysis of what appears attainable through negotiation versus what appears attainable through labor action, weigh the two against each other, and then make the choice that is most advantageous over the long term.

Militants are people who set their expectations according TO WHAT THEY GODDAMNED DESERVE!

The first paragraph is definitely longer, definitely more boring, definitely uncool and unsexy, and unemotional to the point of autism.

The second paragraph stirs the blood and speaks to injustices.

The problem is that people who follow the rules of the first paragraph are, in the end, quite a bit more likely to get you more money than they cost you. Simple as that.

Alan Rosenberg’s song is steeped in so much irrationality, it’s hard to know where to start taking it apart.  He comes off like a guy who wanted his war but just couldn’t get it, and now it’s the sellouts’ fault that SAG is going to take a deal that every director, every writer and every member of AFTRA has already taken by HUGE MAJORITIES.

The truth is that there were very few Alan-style militants in WGA leadership by the time I left in 2006.  Patric is really more of a blend of the two.  He has the heart of a militant, but the brain of a moderate…so when he makes his cost-benefit evaluations, he lets his heart sneak in there, and he ends up getting some important things wrong.  For instance, I think Patric and David both thought they were going to get a short strike, because that’s what they wanted to think.  They certainly didn’t want the long war of attrition and DGA-negotiated outcome that they got.

But this…this stuff is way more militant than Patric and David.  This guy wants a fight.  He’s looking for the excitement.

Earth to Alan:  you lost the plot buddy.  The people you think are the enemy?  They’re the good guys in your union.  The members voted them into power so that they could undo what you were doing. Democracy in action.

I don’t think Alan will ever realize the truth of this.

Then again, antagonists are the protagonists of their own stories…