Q & Avalanche!

Let’s clear this sucker out…Isn’t it more fun this way? Instead of answering readers’ questions with the frequency of NBA field goals, I like to pace myself like a soccer game. Vast stretches of time go by, and then suddenly, something almost sort of happens.

Then another aeon passes…

Let’s do this.

At what point does a character deserve a name? If he speaks? If she is mentioned by other characters? Obviously some characters need to be kept anonymous, like the Cigarette Smoking Man in The X-Files.

Well, characters deserve names if you think the audience will ever need to know their name. Odd Job never speaks, but he certainly required a name.

I tend to go with the standard Reporter #1 and Reporter #2 if I’m writing a press conference scene or something like that. I’ll give a character a name if someone else needs to refer to him or if his name is going to appear in writing somewhere in the film.

Sometimes we give our characters names because there’s nothing else that will do. I wrote a script in which a man uses an invention to bring his dead wife’s possessions to life. They assembled themselves into a facsimile of her, and he falls in love with this facsimile. This facsimile doesn’t speak, but I refer to it/her a lot in the action paragraphs. What do you call that character? “Dead Wife’s Stuff” didn’t fit the tone of the drama, and “Facsimile” is pretty clinical. I went with “The Figure.”

Next up…

i’m a produced screenwriter currently working on my second studio project. i’ve been working with a “sounding board” for a couple of years: a close friend and extremely bright dramaturgical mind.

my “sounding board” isn’t exactly a co-writer, per se, as much as he is…well, herein lies my problem. i’m not exactly sure how to credit him, and i’m not exactly sure how to compensate him.

Oh, email, you killer of capitalization…

The questioner goes on to basically say that the sounding board doesn’t really put the words down on paper. Rather, he’s a…well…he’s a sounding board.

The credit you’re looking for here is “producer.” I use sounding boards all the time. I’m writing a screenplay right now, and I have two producers (other than myself), an associate producer and a writing assistant in the room, and I use them all as sounding boards. Everyone talks about the story, everyone talks about the jokes, but I’m the one who is writing the treatment, and I’m the one who is writing the script.

Creating literary material = writing. Talking about what to put in literary material = developing and producing.

Obviously if someone is taking dictation, that’s a different story.

Our next question comes from Australia.

I would like to thank Ted Elliot, Terry Rossio and Craig Mazin for writing and coming up with such stories that have inspired and introduced millions of young film-loving teenagers to worlds uninhabited before!! You give us hope and show us that having an imagination isn’t wrong!!

Right, that’s not the question yet, but ummmm, okay, maybe Ted’s done all that…..but me?

Besides, I’m only in this to crush people’s hopes.

I must redouble my efforts.

Anyway, to continue…

I’m a 16 year old high school student from Australia who, after completing a professional scriptwriting course, began writing screenplays at the age of 14. After watching Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl I was moved to write my own pirate screenplay. And now, because of this script, I have an agent and an editor in New York and LA representing me as a screenwriter.

And that sound you’re hearing right now is the jealous grinding of thousands of sets of middle-aged teeth…

As a professional, do you have any advice on a young screenwriter and film devotee like me? Are you currently providing mentorship, or will you ever consider it?

My advice is to keep doing whatever you’re doing, I suppose. I mean, you’re 16 and you’re writing screenplays and getting yourself some form of representation. Have lawyers vet everything before you sign stuff, be aware that your age necessarily means you’re naive (so presume people’s motives will be selfish and possibly predatory), and above all, don’t burn yourself out. Be young, enjoy your teen years, and find a fun balance for your ambition.

As for mentoring, you don’t want me as a mentor. Honestly. What you should be looking for is a benefactor.

Right. Moving along…

Why are television staff writers credited as Producers (co-, co-executive, consulting producer, etc.), instead of ‘Writer’ or ‘Head Writer’?

Excellent question!

Remember that bit above about how creating literary material is what a writer does, and how the non-literary developing and so forth is what a producer does?

Well there you go. In television, there are writers who write scripts. Many of those writers also do things like hire and fire other writers, make creative decisions about sets, cast, schedule and budget. They also consult on the stories that other writers are writing for the show.

They’re hyphenates. Sometimes they write, sometimes they produce. The important distinction is that writing is writing, and producing is producing. This arrangement tends to work in favor of non-producing writers by protecting us from credit grabs by non-writing producers.

Excelsior…

Is a one-line enough to find out if there is an agent, manager or producer interested?

By “one-line,” the questioner means a very short logline.

Depends on the logline.

“A city bus full of passengers has been rigged with a bomb, and if the bus’ speed drops below 50mph for even an instant, the bomb will go off.”

That’s pretty good. Certainly leads one to think about the various possibilities and complications.

If your logline is high concept, then sure, the shorter the better in query letters, I think. If it’s not, then you might want to write a brief (VERY brief) bit about the themes the story explores, or anything that you believe will intrigue the potential producer or agent.

More?

Sure.

Okay, what if you write this awesome script, a big name company options it, and you have the top five agencies and Paradigm knocking at your door?

Who would (did) you choose and why?

Can you breakdown the plus and minuses of said agencies?

What if you have a VP of one of the top five calling you saying he wants to represent you? Do you think it’s a scam?

What if you’re of an age (say 25) when your brain is about to explode from a shit load of attention and you have no idea what to do? Do you shoot yourself? Or do you email a screenwriting guru for advice?

All those guys who were jealously grinding their teeth are now muttering quietly and staring at you as they polish their handguns…

I’m not going to go too deeply into my views on the agencies, because I have to do business with all of them, so why screw myself? Suffice it to say that while the agent and the agency are important, it’s the individual agent you’ll be talking to and forming a true relationship with.

When it comes to the sudden attention that Hollywood success can bring, my best advice is to stay as humble as possible. It’s prudent for a few reasons. Obviously, people are inclined to blow smoke up your ass, but more importantly, staying humble only makes them want you more.

The grounded, self-rewarding, self-disciplining writers seem to forge careers that last decades.

The exciting blowhards come and go.

Don’t get crazy, be yourself, understand that anyone who works with you will never be as good a friend to you as someone who doesn’t, and above all, even while you’re being humble and grounded and prudent…

…enjoy the hell out your success.

Okay, now, since we had a good question from Australia, why not try another one?

Hi, I am a scriptwriter from Australia. I love your view here on the role of the scriptwriter. But I have a quick question. I was given the job of scriptwriter for a tv show. Upon creating the first draft, I handed my script over to the producers. They ended up changing alot of my words and twisting the story around, adding things here and there. It lost alot of context. I was wondering, is this common in the industry?

It’s pretty rare in Hollywood. I would say an experience like yours happens maybe only, say, a hundred times a second.

Every day.

Including Christmas.

Welcome to professional writing.

Here’s one I really liked…

A friend of mine is a writer whose work has been lucky/funny enough to make it to the big screen. The sequel has been greenlit and he just shot me an email letting me know that he’s signed on as the director! I am an aspiring screenwriter and I understand how valuable it is to be on set and get a bird’s eye view of the process. So my question is this: What job should I beg him for??!! I’ve got no on-set experience.

Good for you! This is exactly the way aspiring screenwriters ought to be going about things. The more set experience you have, the better you will be at writing material that’s intended to be shot on a set.

Since you have no experience, I suggest you beg for a job as a production assistant, or P.A. The P.A. gig is the classic rite of passage for anyone interested in set work. You’re a gopher, basically. You fetch things, you find people, you make copies, you close the stage door when the camera’s rolling…

…and you’re there for every minute of every day of shooting.

Don’t expect much in the way of money or prestige, but do enjoy the learning experience. In the inevitable moments of boredom, you’ll be able to ask questions of anyone not immediately occupied with their job, and most crew folk are happy to talk about the ins and outs of what they do, as long as you’re not annoying about it.

Good luck!

All right, enough Aussies. Let’s go to London…

“Ultimately want to be part of (in a full-time staffer on the team) a great US TV Comedy/Dramedy series, as a writer based in the UK, what’s the best way to achieve this? Spec Scripts and Hot shot Agent? Pitch a Pilot? Hitch out to LA and spend many lean and hungry years trying to make contacts until I’m bankrupt and bitter?

Also, how can I make the whole green card thing go through quickly and smoothly, do I have to sort it all out? Will a decent Agent do that for you? Or does a/the network/production company do this?

First, yeah, hitching to L.A. is going to be almost assuredly required. Bankruptcy and bitterness are optional, but quite possible…bordering on probable.

The work permit situation is very sticky (going through it now with someone I want to bring down to L.A. from Canada), so rather than give you questionable advice, I suggest you speak to a local immigration lawyer.

Here’s a question about craft, specifically, how to write those movie moments that make the audience cry…

I want to know what techniques an experienced writer could identify that clearly has this effect on an audience. What kind of twist or action or moment must occur in your plot that “guarantees” to really drive the reaction on home? Apparently some people out there know the secret.

Boy, are you asking the wrong guy.

Ted told me once that someone told him (can’t remember who) that people tend to cry when they’re watching actors who are trying not to cry, and that makes sense.

To me, the best cry-your-eyes-out moment I’ve ever seen is in Field Of Dreams (written and directed by Phil Alden Robinson), when Ray Kinsella, seeing the ghost of his dead father, asks, “Hey Dad? Wanna have a catch?”

I’m tearing up just writing the line.

Am I crying because a son, guilty for rejecting of his father, has a chance to make good? Sort of. Or is it because he hasn’t seen his father in so long, and now he’s a father, and he finally understands him? Maybe. Or is it because anyone, confronted with the youthful ghost of a parent they had only known as old and embittered, would be overcome with emotion? Perhaps.

But I suspect the real reason I cry every time I see that scene is that Ray asks, hopefully and plaintively, “You wanna have a catch?” Those words are so soaked in the emotional tar that binds fathers and sons, no thinking or planning or deciphering by the audience is required. The moment cuts past the frontal lobe and hits us in our child brain, our animal brain. It pokes at our neediness for the love of our fathers, and it reminds us how transcendental it was to receive that love…and to receive it in a way that made us feel we were like our fathers.

It does it so cleanly and elegantly, without any trappings or confusion.

It’s perfectly real.

So here’s the advice from the guy who writes spoof movies: if you want to make an audience cry, create a circumstance in which it’s reasonable for a character to be overcome with emotion, and then craft a moment that goes past the reasons and into the subconscious.

Whoo. That was heavy. Shall I transition to a dry question about credits?

if a script of a tv series in a non us contry is sold for remake in the U.S., what is the credit the original writer is intitled to? shuld the credit be on the opening credits or in the end credits? is the original writer intitled to any royalties in the us?

Easy on the questioner. His English is better than my Hindi.

The answer is that the original script becomes source material and is eligible for a “based on a screenplay by” credit. This credit does not confer royalties or residuals.

And lastly, at long lastly…let’s end with a question about porn.

As a member of the WGA am I in any way regulated to selling a certain style of script? Such as screenplays for pornographic films? In other words is there any kind of regulation on the kind of material that can be presented in the screenplay?

The WGA only regulates to whom you can sell work. You can only work for signatories to the collective bargaining agreement in work areas covered by the WGA (primetime television, live-action motion pictures). What you choose to put in your screenplay is entirely up to you.

If you want to write tentpole pictures…